I accidentally burped into my bong.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How's your threesome situation going?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol