Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
And then my night got REAL pukey
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.