Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
