Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.