Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
