literally had 100 drinks last night.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.