I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
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HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.