I need help removing her.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
