I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Boobs are out for the taking
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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