just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
