lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Randomize