Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
