I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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