I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
