lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
