Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
