i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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