it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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