i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
