first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
we're so committed to being not committed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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