driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My vagina is very pro this idea
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
