I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
