He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
