New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
