"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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