if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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