I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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