they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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