the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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