Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I stole a fireplace last night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize