You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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