i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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