The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
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There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
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Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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