operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
