your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How does it feel to date your dad?
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