I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
3 2 1 whiskey
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
