A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize