You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
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I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize