found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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