I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
