They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
