Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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