I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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