when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
