Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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