you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My balls are so social today.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
