Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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