My nipple is on Facebook.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
