If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
