I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Randomize
