I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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