dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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