Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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