I heard we made out
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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