Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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