"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Randomize
