just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
