So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
