The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
