maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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