dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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