are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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