There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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