He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
