i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
