You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
