Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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